Double Digits

Daulton turned 10 last month and is officially in double digits.  I asked him on his birthday if he felt older and he said no, but a few days later I asked him again and he said he did feel older.  I guess it takes a few days for it to sink in that he is now 10.

In the weeks leading up to his birthday, I found myself thinking back to the first time I met Daulton.  I had met Matt through my roommate Alison and had heard he had a son.  Alison and her parents ran a youth puppet ministry and invited us out to watch their Easter performance.  Daulton was 3 at the time and like he is today, a mini Matt.  Midway through the performance, I looked down the row to see if he was enjoying the puppets.  What I found was Daulton staring directly at me and studying me.  Now I know he just likes to people watch, but another part of me wonders why he was staring at just me.  There were other strangers he could have stared at, but he picked me.

People have asked me how Daulton is doing with being a big brother.  There has never been a better big brother in the history of big brothers than Daulton.  He plays with Cole, helps with feedings, consoles him when he's upset, let's him play Xbox (he gives him the extra controller to play with), and he can't go by Cole without giving him a hug or kiss.  They are just as enamored with each other now as ever.

I've said it before and I will say it again, I hit the jackpot with Daulton.  He is my stepson and I will never be his mom, but he is the one who made me a mom.  He teaches me how to be patient and kind, even when I don't want to be.  He reminds me to share and to put others first.  He teaches me to see the good in people and to not overthink things.  He reminds me to be in the moment and to enjoy the now.  He is smart, funny, patient, and kind.  I could go on and on about how wonderful he is, but that would probably just embarrass him. 

I can't believe he is 10 and I am so grateful I get to be a part of his life!

Running with Daulton

I started a running program called Couch to 5K about four weeks ago to start exercising more and I needed the stress relief from everything that was going on with my mom.  I also work at a job where I sit for 8+ hours a day and if I'm not careful, my weight will go up while my health goes down.  And I said I wanted to take better care of myself when I turned 30 and that includes exercise.

Daulton has gone with me before but he usually rides his bike and chooses not to run.  Tonight, he decided he was going to run with me and "get some exercise".  Here's how it went down.

5 minute warm-up:  We synchronize our iPods so the clocks start at the same time.  We are using the C25K app by Zen Labs on our iPod Touches.  Daulton doesn't understand the meaning of warm-up and is walking very slowly.

2.5 minutes into the warm-up:  We only have 1 arm band for the 2 iPod Touches we own and its pink and clearly mine.  Of course Daulton wants it but I convince him before we leave the house to just wear shorts with pockets and tell him he will be fine.  My mistake.  We stop to trade iPods two minutes after leaving the house and Daulton is happy to finally have the iPod with arm band he wanted.

1st interval - 5 minute run:  It sounds like a 500 pound man is running behind me.  I can barely hear my music over Daulton's foot steps.  After two minutes, the foot steps are closer and louder and Daulton passes me.  And its just as loud as if he was behind me.

Daulton keeps the lead for another two minutes and then runs out of steam.  I pass him and then spend the next minute looking behind my shoulder to make sure he hasn't given up and trying to yell encouraging words at him.  I am not at the point where I can run and talk, so the only way I can talk is one word per breath.  It takes a long time to get out my words of encouragement.

3 minute walk:  Daulton looks miserable.  I tell him its not as easy as it looks and he agrees. We decide to head back to the house so he can get his bike and I have to pee.

2nd interval - 5 minute run:  We aren't home yet and its time for the next running interval.  Daulton is not pleased that I make him run home but he makes it.  He gets his bike, I do my business, we trade iPods again because I want my arm band back, and we are back out the door to finish the interval.

3 minute walk:  Daulton follows me on the bike pedaling at the speed I'm running, which is about two steps above glacial speed.  Luckily he does not fall over but it makes me feel like he is the van that picks up the stragglers at the mini marathon and its my encouragement to not stop as I'm afraid he will run me over.

3rd interval - 5 minute run:  Halfway through this interval Daulton asks if he can go home.  I can't hear what he says so I have to stop and turn around to listen to the question.  I am so close to being done so I send him home and finish the interval.

Cool down:  I head back to the house and get Dixie to take her for her evening walk.  Matt asks me how it was and my response was "hot".  He then gets me a drink and only asks me questions that I can grunt the answer to.

I am neither a graceful nor a natural runner.  It takes a lot of will power to get through it and not give up when it gets tough.  I'm happy that I'm doing it for me and I like the changes I'm already seeing in my legs (and compliments from the husband don't hurt either).  And even though we can't really converse while I'm running, I like having Daulton with me.  It keeps me motivated and I can't give up because that's not the example I want to set for him.

Together we've taken up yoga and running.  I wonder what we will do next.

 

Taking An Abby Day

I took the day off today and did nothing and it was absolutely wonderful.  No obligations, no email, and I only did whatever I wanted to do.  If you are able to take a day like this for yourself, I highly recommend it.  And do yourself a favor and set no expectations on the day.  I spent the morning sleeping in, enjoying coffee, and catching up on some reading.  I didn't get out of my pajamas until 1 PM.  It was awesome.

We have been busy lately.  Daulton turned 8 last month and I still haven't gotten around to taking the pictures off my camera.  We had a great time celebrating with family and friends and I can't believe he is 8 now.  He's not the little chubby 3 year old I fell in love with 5 years ago.  A smart, funny, and kind young man is in his place.

We went to an Indians game a few weeks ago and had a fantastic time.  Daulton's mom got us the tickets and we sat right behind the visitors dugout.  The starting pitcher gave Daulton a ball and then later, another player gave him a second ball.  Without hesitating, Daulton gave the second ball to the family sitting across the row who didn't have a ball.  It was very generous and Matt and I were both so proud of him.

We also got some bad news that my mom has Hodgkins lymphoma.  It is 100% treatable with chemotherapy so we are lucky that we can cure it, but it sucks to have to go through it.  If you want to follow her journey, I setup a blog at martharardin.com to keep family and friends informed while she goes through this journey.  She has already been through one round of chemo and it feels good to have the first one done and we know what to expect for the next round.  Daulton took the news very well and has been asking questions.  We've talked about what chemo is, that she will lose her hair, and that we have to be extra careful of washing hands and keeping germs away from her.

Baseball has also started for Matt and Daulton.  Its quite a shock going from the warmth and temperature controlled climate of basketball to the unpredictable spring weather.  I spent the first game with my hat on, snuggled in my fleece, sitting on a blanket, and keeping score with one glove on and one glove off (the glove was too big and I couldn't hold the pencil).  I only keep score and not stats and Matt can thank my dad for making me keep score for my siblings games for so many years.

Matt and I celebrated our wedding anniversary last week.  Some days it feels like we have been married for forever and then other days it feels like just yesterday.  This is not a marriage post but I will say that I feel that being married is a choice and it takes work.  Some days are easier than others and I couldn't ask for a better husband.

This is only a small fraction of what we've been up to.  Quite frankly, I don't want to write it all out as it exhausts me just thinking about it and I'm sure you don't want to read it.  I'm also still writing at Beyond The Defaults so you can also find me over there (and sign up for email alerts) or like us on Facebook if you want to be notified when a new post is up.

This post was Daulton approved.  If you don't know what that means then you should read this:  My Son Grounded Me From Facebook.

Name That Dessert

We had a discussion the other night about what dessert Daulton took to school for lunch.  We asked him what he had and this is what we got.  I'm going to give you the clues and let's see if you can figure it out.

Its yellow.

Its square.

Its a cake, square cake.

Its like a cake but its stringy when you pull it apart.

Its got bumps on it and "the bumps are very tasty".  (That's a direct quote.)

The bumps are not sprinkles.

It comes in a blue, yellow, and white wrapper with bees on it.

Any guesses?

The final answer is Rice Krispies treat.

Did you get it right?

Yeah, neither did we.  We had to text Daulton's mom to figure out what the dessert was because we had no idea what the dessert was either.

The cake and bees clues really threw me off as I was thinking cake and not rice krisipie treats.  And there aren't any bees on the wrapper, its Snap, Crackle, and Pop.

Image Source: Amazon

Just Relaxing

Just relaxing on the couch with his 7UP and light up wine glass.  He's living the dream!

I don't know where he gets it from.

 

Valentine's Party 2nd Grade Style

I had a chance to go to Daulton's Friendship Party last Friday and help out.  I was introduced to the class as Mrs. Butts and I heard a few kids ask Daulton who I was and was proud when he told them "she's my stepmom" with a smile on his face.  I was in charge of the hula hoop game which required getting 7 and 8 year olds to join hands and pass the hula hoop around the circle without breaking hands and in their case, not falling over and no major injuries.

I have much admiration and respect for teachers.  Being in charge of a classroom of kids from different backgrounds, with different personalities, strengths, weaknesses, and quirks is challenging.  I also admire anyone who has the patience to repeat themselves several times throughout the day.  I don't have that kind of patience.

During the hour long party, I was surprised how often I repeated myself.

No, we aren't going to hula hoop.

You (I didn't know his name), keep your shoes on.

Need me to tie your shoes?  (Commence shoe tying.)

Easy!  Don't throw the hula hoop at each other.

Help each other!

No jumping.  (This was after the teacher sternly told us to stop jumping.)

Everyone hold hands.  Yes, everyone.  (A few of the girls made a fuss about holding hands with a few of the boys.)

No, we aren't going to hula hoop.

Remember be easy, don't take each other out with the hula hoop.

Them:  You are really tall.

Me:  Yes I am.

You, put your shoes on.  (Still don't know his name.)

Stop squeezing hands.  (Why do boys do this?)

No jumping.

How is your shoe untied again?  Can I double knot them?  (I was not tying them a third time.)

I had a bit of a standoff with a girl who kept going feet first instead of head first, which meant she almost fell over every time it was her turn and she would've taken out the person next to her.  She tried the "well she did it so I did it" to which I responded "go head first or you are done".  There was then some intense eye contact and she then complied.

You, how do your shoes keep coming off?  (At this point, even if I knew his name I would only be able to refer to him as "Shoes".)

No, we aren't going to hula hoop.

I really enjoy watching Daulton "in his natural environment" and watching him interact with his friends.  And other than the reading date we had, its only the second time I've been to Daulton's school by myself.  It was also really sweet to see Daulton happy to see me and for me to be a part of his class.

Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours!

Image Source:  My fabulous friend Hanna

Teaching Good Enough

Sometimes, I just need arts and crafts time.  It feels good to do something with my hands, that's not on the computer, and be able to see the finished project.

I bought a heart punch, Valentines Day themed scrapbook paper, and scrapbook adhesive squares and Daulton and I got to work.  My inspiration came from this post on the Flower Patch Farmgirl and then I saved it to Pinterest.  Check out my post on Beyond The Defaults for more information on Pinterest and let me know if you want an invitation.

Daulton was a very good helper and after I showed him how to work the hole punch, he got right to work.  He only took a few breaks to watch iCarly and later to play Wipeout on the Xbox Kinect (holy crap am I sore from playing that game!).

Once we had about 500 hearts punched out (I had no idea we would have 500 hearts until we had 500 hearts punched out), we started assembling the 3-dimensional hearts and attaching them to string.  Daulton watched me put a few together and then decided he was going to try it.

And then he asked me, "Hey Ab, do they have to be perfect?".

I know he was only talking about putting together a Valentines Day craft, but it felt like one of those life lesson moments.  And after a quick glance at Matt, I could see he felt the same way.

So I told him, "Nope, they don't need to be perfect.  They just need to be good enough.  Do you know what that means?"

He said he didn't so we both explained that perfect doesn't exist but its important to always try to do your best.  Matt said it best when he said, "Do you know the difference between good enough and perfect?  Its in your head."

It was the confirmation he needed that I wasn't expecting perfection and we cruised through the rest of the assembly and he helped me hang them around the house.

Were all the hearts perfect?  No, far from it and I had just as many imperfect hearts as he did but that didn't matter because the project turned out great.  It was a fun project for us to do together and it satisfied my need for arts and crafts time.  And for being such a good helper, he got some heart surprises hanging outside of his door this morning.

Why yes, that is a basket of balls on my fireplace.  They say to work with what you've got and that's what we've got lying around everywhere.  It keeps them contained and easily accessible, everyone wins.

Great Date

I had the best date today!  He asked me out late yesterday afternoon and I usually prefer to play hard to get, but he is so cute and I couldn't resist so I said yes right away.  Our date was a little unconventional, it was a morning date instead of your typical evening date but I didn't mind.  I woke up this morning and made sure my hair was styled and my outfit was perfectly put-together-without-looking-like-I-tried-very-hard.  I walked out into the living room and told my date I was ready to go!

Can you guess who my date was?

Here's a hint, I had to drive as I am the one with a license and I had to pay for breakfast as he typically doesn't carry around cash (or a wallet).

The correct answer is, "Who is Daulton?".

Daulton's school had a Wake Up & Read event today and since "reading is my thing" (that's a direct quote), Daulton asked me to go.  I was very excited to go and that he wanted me to be the one to go with him.  Usually Matt or Daulton's mom get to do the school activities and I pack lunches or ask, what they would consider an excessive amount of, questions.

We stopped at Dunkin Donuts (my mother, the dietitian, will be mortified when she reads this) for munchkins and we sampled coffee and hot chocolate.  I couldn't help but compare my adult dates with Matt where we have done wine tastings before (ok, technically I taste and he drives) to my dates with Daulton where we discuss the chocolate-ly smell and taste of his hot chocolate. 

Once we got into Daulton's classroom, the lights were out, spooky music was playing, and we read The Haunted Ghoul Bus by flashlight.  We took turns reading and holding the flashlight and ate our munchkins.

I had a great time and like any good date, I am left with that perma-smile (when you walk around all day with a smile you can't wipe off your face) and "I hope he asks me out again" hope.  And since I don't get to do a lot of the school functions, I love getting to see Daulton in the place where he spends the majority of his day.

Like I said, it was a great date!

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The Worm

During a commercial break during Glee tonight, Daulton wanted to show us that he could do the worm.  (The worm is a dance move that looks like it sounds.  Look it up on YouTube if you need a visual.)  After finishing the worm, he then told us he was practicing it today during computer class.

Matt & me:  What?

You were doing the worm during computer class?

Where was your teacher?

Daulton:  I don't know.

Matt & me:  Do you think doing the worm during computer class was the right choice?

Daulton:  Probably not.

Matt & me:  Okay, no more doing the worm during computer class.  And by the way, that was a pretty good worm.

Daulton:  Thanks.

The end.

I'll Take This Art To Go

I was given a new travel mug last Christmas.  I took it into work and I liked everything about it, except for the picture of the family that was not mine staring back at me with every sip.  Yes, I have had the mug since Christmas and I never bothered to replace the picture with someone I actually know.

Rather than find a new picture, which I think I have proven to myself and to you, wasn't going to ever happen.  I decided to delegate the mug situation to Daulton.  And I really like how it turned out. 

If you can't tell, the person in the picture is saying "Wow".  I've gotten several compliments on it and I like having a little piece of custom artwork to look at when I'm in my office or in a meeting.

I like it so much I decided to follow through with one of my 30th birthday resolutions and actually be in a picture and then show it to you.

Did Someone Say Twins?

Am I the only one who sees this?

Now Things Are Really Looking Different

Daulton lost another tooth last night.  Just like the last one, it had been loose for a while and last night he was finally able to pull it out.  I think the corn on the cob we had for dinner also helped to loosen it up.  He is now missing one front top tooth and two lower front teeth.

I don't know how he is going to eat corn on the cob now.  My guess is he will figure out how to make it work.  The boy loves corn on the cob.

Daulton also turned 7 at the end of March.  I cannot believe this kid is 7 years old.  When I met Matt, Daulton was only 3 years old and he was this short, chunky, adorable little boy.  When you looked at him, you wanted to pinch his cheeks and snuggle him all at the same time. 

And now he is a tall, lean, smart and still adorable little man.   He tackled me the other day and I would have fallen over had the couch not been there to hold me up.  He is reading chapter books and no longer wants to hold my hand in public (this one breaks my heart).  I still pinch and kiss his cheeks and try to snuggle him, but he is a little bit more resistant to that now.  He has homework and tests and responsibilities like feeding the dog and returning library books on time.

Its hard to admit he is growing up.

  

A Robot Named Rockstar

Last week Daulton's homework for the week was to build a robot from items around the house.  To say this homework assignment was a team effort is an understatement.  We are all very proud of how Rockstar, the name Daulton gave his robot, turned out.

In case you are wondering, Rockstar is made out of:

An old cornmeal container for the bottom
Red wrapping paper
Black Sharpie marker
Juice container
Aluminum foil
Juice Container cap for the green circle in the middle
Wooden skewers
Bathroom cups for eyeballs
Toilet paper roll for the license plate that says "Rockstar"

Daulton also had to write a story describing his robot.  Rockstar likes to color and eat ice cream.  Daulton and Rockstar also play football together.   Rockstar helps out with Daulton's homework and is 9 years old.

Unfortunately, I was too busy supervising and constructing a robot and I did not take any pictures during construction.  Instead, all I have are these outtakes to share with you.

Rock on Rockstar.

Does Something Look Different?

Big news here!  Daulton pulled out his first tooth last week.  It had been loose for about 2 weeks and finally, last week we convinced him to pull it out.  He had been trying for about 30 minutes and finally, when Matt and I both looked away for a moment he yelled "Its out!" and showed us his tooth. 

He lost his top, front tooth around the age of 1 so technically this is the 2nd tooth he has lost. 

The tooth fairy also stopped by and left some money and a note.  The note said she would be taking the tooth and throwing it up in the sky to make a new star.  Daulton was very excited that she came by and that he would have a star up in the sky!

My apologies for the super close picture.  We had some issues getting a decent picture and this is the best shot we have. 

Hard to believe he is old enough to be losing teeth and will turn 7 later this month!

 

Hedbanz Game

Daulton got the Hedbanz Game for Christmas and we have had a blast playing it ever since.  Everyone wears a headband with a card on the front.  You do not look at your card, but everyone else can see it.  During your turn you ask the other players yes/no questions to help you figure out what is on your card.  You can ask questions like:

Am I am animal?
Do I have four legs?
Do I live on a farm?

You have to think quickly and remember the answers to the questions you've already asked.  It has been fun to watch Daulton figure out what questions to ask and to learn how to ask better questions.  Matt figures out what his card is the fastest while Daulton and I are most likely to ask repeat questions because we have forgotten what we've already asked.

We've also played this with Daulton's grandparents and we played it with my siblings and cousins during a Christmas celebration.  I wasn't sure that everyone would enjoy it but they did and I know it will be a game we play for years to come.

Even Dixie played a round with us.

Yoga Time With Daulton and Dixie

I am trying to incorporate more exercise into my days and I've decided the best time to do this is right when I get home from work.  Exercise also helps me de-stress from my day and if I feel a little better about myself afterwards, so be it.  Sometimes I can talk Daulton into doing it with me so we both get a little exercise.

On Monday I asked Daulton if he wanted to do yoga with me.  Before I could get the entire question out he was already changing into comfy clothes and had pulled his mat (technically one of my old ones) out and was unrolling it.  There's nothing like an enthusiastic partner to exercise with.  So I put in my Power Yoga DVD and got ready to do some yoga.

The rest of our 30 minute yoga experience went something like this:

1 minute into the program, the first forward bend happens.  Dixie thinks we are bending over to pet her and is immediately in our faces.

2 minutes:  First plank, upward dog and downward dog positions occur.  Dixie is now going back and forth between our faces seeing who will give in and pet her first.

5 minutes:  Dixie is now laying in between the front of our mats where she can maybe get petted during the forward bends.

8 minutes:  Daulton just farted.

10 minutes.  Daulton is grunting and breathing heavily.  Its distracting and not very zen like.

11 minutes.  Daulton has now fallen over and is moaning.  Dixie rushed to his side in case he wanted to pet her to make himself feel better.

15 minutes:  Daulton still moaning on the floor.  I ask him what's wrong and he said, "when I fell over my bone popped".  He then moves to the couch to recover from his yoga induced injury.  Dixie is now next to the couch comforting Daulton and hoping to get petted.

20 minutes:  We are now into the stretching portion of the workout.  Daulton has recovered enough from his injury to participate.  These exercise are also done on the floor, which means a new opportunity for Dixie to get in our faces and seek attention.

21 minutes:  I try to correct Daulton's stretching form.  He disagrees with my comments and proceeds to do what he wants.  I give up and go back to focusing on what I am doing.

22 minutes:  Daulton has stopped stretching and is staring at the yoga instructor on the TV.  He then says, "That guy looks dead."  The yoga instructor is not dead but is incredibly flexible, something Daulton and I hope to accomplish.

23 minutes:  We are both giggling at Daulton's dead man comment.

25 minutes:  The relaxation portion has begun.  This is my absolute most favorite part of yoga and have even fallen asleep during this part because I get so relaxed.  This did not happen for me on Monday.

25 minutes 30 seconds:  Dixie's wet nose on my hand causes me to jump and breaks my relaxation.

26 minutes:  Dixie is now in Daulton's face and he again comments "That guy looks dead" about the yoga instructor we are following.  I give Daulton credit, the pose we were in is called corpse pose.

26 minutes 30 seconds:  Dixie is back at my mat and is now rooting her nose under my relaxed hand in an attempt to get me to pet her.  This results in her lifting my hand and then dropping it when I don't start immediately petting her.  And the wet, cold nose is not helping either.

27 minutes:  Daulton has given up on relaxing and is now very concerned that I don't look "dead enough" like the yoga instructor.  He the proceeds to reposition my arms in a more dead-like pose. 

29 minutes:  The instructor is already sitting back up and the session is almost over.  I decide to lay there for just a few more minutes to relax until I feel someone staring at me.  I open my eyes and Daulton is staring at me with a look that I interpret to mean "aren't you going to sit up like the dead guy on TV?".  I give up on relaxation and sit up to finish the session.

30 minute:  The session is over, the mats are rolled up and put away, and our yoga experience is over. 

It wasn't the most relaxing session I've ever had but it was fun.  It's always funny to watch Daulton and while he hasn't quite mastered the art of quiet breathing, he is getting better and has learned how to do the poses.  And I know he won't always want to do yoga with me and he's already pretty close to running faster than me, so our days of exercising together and me not embarrassing myself too much are limited.  So, I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.

 

While I Was Sleeping

I took today off to hang out with Matt and Daulton.  We saw Yogi Bear in 3D and when we got home I decided to take a nap.  I left the boys outside to play in the garage and snow.  When I woke up, this is what I had to clean up.

Apparently his dad let him play with spray paint.  Yes, I said spray paint.  I know I said spray paint because Matt had to say it twice to me because I was hoping I didn't hear him correctly the first time he said it. 

The next time I want to take a nap, I am hiding the spray paint.