Where Did The Year Go?

Cole turns one tomorrow.  I've been reflective the last two days and thinking of where I was this time last year.  Today at 12:30 PM I remembered my water breaking and how scared and nervous I was.  I thought about the call I made to Matt to tell him what had happened and to stop at the house and pack our bags.  And then I laughed at how we argued about where my deodorant was (he had already packed it).  I remember how excited Daulton was to sit with us in the hospital room and how he looked in every room we passed as we walked the halls trying to get labor going.  We shared flavored ice cups and neither of us cared for the sugar free jello.

At times this year has gone by so quickly and other times it feels like its taking forever.  Time seems slower at night when all I want to do is sleep but Cole either wants to hang out or snuggle.  It seems like just yesterday he was in newborn clothes and now he's busting out of his 12 months pajamas.

Cole is crawling everywhere and gets into EVERYTHING!  He shredded the toilet paper in my bathroom a few days ago and then tore it into tiny pieces.  His daily goals are to get into the laundry room and get the remote, both are off limits to him.  Cole got a hold of the remote at my sister's house and managed to record the news. 

Dixie is Cole's best friend at meal times.  He drops food for her and makes sure she gets a snack when he has his snack bowl.  She gives him kisses and Cole's learning to pet nicely.

Daulton continues to be the best big brother ever.  He is protective and is quick to respond when he's fussy.  They are starting to wrestle and Cole watches every move Daulton makes.  I am happy they have each other.

Time to go. Someone wants to snuggle. 

Double Digits

Daulton turned 10 last month and is officially in double digits.  I asked him on his birthday if he felt older and he said no, but a few days later I asked him again and he said he did feel older.  I guess it takes a few days for it to sink in that he is now 10.

In the weeks leading up to his birthday, I found myself thinking back to the first time I met Daulton.  I had met Matt through my roommate Alison and had heard he had a son.  Alison and her parents ran a youth puppet ministry and invited us out to watch their Easter performance.  Daulton was 3 at the time and like he is today, a mini Matt.  Midway through the performance, I looked down the row to see if he was enjoying the puppets.  What I found was Daulton staring directly at me and studying me.  Now I know he just likes to people watch, but another part of me wonders why he was staring at just me.  There were other strangers he could have stared at, but he picked me.

People have asked me how Daulton is doing with being a big brother.  There has never been a better big brother in the history of big brothers than Daulton.  He plays with Cole, helps with feedings, consoles him when he's upset, let's him play Xbox (he gives him the extra controller to play with), and he can't go by Cole without giving him a hug or kiss.  They are just as enamored with each other now as ever.

I've said it before and I will say it again, I hit the jackpot with Daulton.  He is my stepson and I will never be his mom, but he is the one who made me a mom.  He teaches me how to be patient and kind, even when I don't want to be.  He reminds me to share and to put others first.  He teaches me to see the good in people and to not overthink things.  He reminds me to be in the moment and to enjoy the now.  He is smart, funny, patient, and kind.  I could go on and on about how wonderful he is, but that would probably just embarrass him. 

I can't believe he is 10 and I am so grateful I get to be a part of his life!

Daulton is 9

Daulton turned 9 this week and I can't believe he is 9 years old.  I asked him several times before his birthday if he wanted to be 8 again since that was such a good year for him, but he was adamant that he wanted to be 9.  And he is very excited to be 1 year away from "double digits".

We celebrated his birthday by eating at BW3's and eating birthday cheesecake.  Last weekend, he and Matt went to the NCAA games in Lexington, KY as part of his birthday present.  They watched two games and sadly, watched Butler be defeated by Marquette.  They had a great time and I had a great time getting pedicures and shopping with my sister!

Its hard to believe he is 9.  He's so grown up from the little 3 year old I first met when I started to date his dad.  Now he's a sports loving, playing, talking young man who is very smart, kind, and has such a big heart.

Happy 31st Birthday To Me!

Today is my 31st birthday.  Last year I had built up the birthday in my mind and this year I didn't really think about it beforehand so it wasn't as big of a deal.  I took today and tomorrow off from work and a 5 day vacation was a nice birthday present to myself.  I have no plans except for putzing around the house and probably taking a nap or two (or three).

Just like I have no plans for my vacation, I have no plans for 31st year of life.  What I said last year about my 20s still holds true.  I spent my 20s wanting and I'm going to spend my 30s enjoying what I have.

I am grateful for what I have.  I bought a calendar last fall while shopping for school supplies and my intention was to write down things that happened throughout the day.  Its evolved into a gratitude journal in addition to capturing our family history.  At the end of a long day, its nice to go to sleep thinking about the positives instead of only dwelling about the negatives.  I plan to continue this daily (okay, not always daily) practice.

I've started the Couch to 5K running program.  (Pick yourselves up off the floor if you fallen over at the shock of what you've just read.)  I was thinking about starting the program for a while and when my mom was diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma in April 2012 running was the stress relief I needed.  With the heat we've had lately and my inability to get out of bed early in the morning, I have fallen behind.  But I ran over a mile today and the last time I could say that was in 2005 when I ran the Mini-Marathon.  I have a love/hate relationship with running.  I don't always like it while I'm doing it but I love how I feel afterwards.  (One of the things I am grateful for are my strong legs and lungs that are getting stronger with each run.)

Source: someecards.com via Abby on Pinterest

I enjoy writing and I'm learning to see myself as a writer.  Writers write and I write, therefore I am a writer.  If you aren't following Beyond The Defaults, the technology blog for the average user I write with my friend Sam Bridegroom, then you can sign up for free email alerts and follow us on Facebook or Twitter as a birthday present to me.  If you like what you read, share it with others who might benefit from it.

I have an amazing husband and stepson who make me feel the luckiest woman alive.  I have good parents, a great sister, and I hit the in-law lottery with my in-laws (they spoil me rotten and I love every minute of it!).  My friends are the perfect blend of smart, sassy, funny, and fiercely loyal.  As I get older, the friendships and relationships get better with time.

With age comes certainty.  I'm more certain of who I am and what I believe in.  I'm 100% positive I made the right choice when I decided to spend the rest of my life with Matt.  I know that I am a positive influence in Daulton's life and while we don't share DNA, I love him like he is my own and he knows that.  I feel comfortable in my own skin and speaking my mind.  I like who I am which is a gift no one can give me but me.

"No one looks stupid when they're having fun" - Amy Poehler

Source: joannagoddard.blogspot.com via Abby on Pinterest

30 Is Not The New 20, Its The New Me

I celebrated my 30th birthday today.  I didn't anticipate celebrating.  I anticipated a lot of moping, whining and possibly even tears.  But I didn't do any of those things.  I truly celebrated.

It didn't hurt that my husband had a little "Come to Jesus" meeting with me a few days before today.  (For those of you that don't know what a "Come to Jesus" meeting is, you clearly haven't experienced one yet.  During a "Come to Jesus" meeting, the facts are laid out on the table for you and you have a choice to make.  The right choice brings you to Jesus, aka the right choice, or the second choice brings you a lot of pain.  I have led and received many "Come to Jesus" meetings over the last 30 years.)  So yes, Matt and I had a "come to Jesus" talk and I made the choice to change my attitude.

My 20s were spent wanting.  I wanted to graduate college, have fun, buy a house, get married, have a child, etc.  I got everything I wanted and more.  But I also didn't enjoy everything I had because I was worried about fulfilling the next want.  These past 30 years have gone by quickly and I imagine the next 30 will go by even faster.  I don't want to look back 30 years from now and wish I would have been more present, worried less, or enjoyed myself more.

I have decided that my 30s will be different.  I am going to appreciate what I have instead of worrying about what I don't have.  I will live in the now instead of worrying about what's coming next.

A few months ago, I read a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  Gretchen spent an entire year focusing on 12 areas, one area per month, that she wanted to improve upon.  While I am not going that far, the book inspired me to set some new goals for myself.  As I was discussing this post with Matt he asked me if I realize that putting my intentions on the internet means that I am now accountable for these resolutions.  Accountability is exactly what I need to succeed. 

Be present.  Put down the phone and pay attention to what's going on around me.  Spend time with people and projects that are important to me and my family.

Do something with the pictures I take. Print them. Update my picture books. Hang them up. Stop leaving them on the camera for 8 months.

Get out from behind the camera and be in more pictures. 

Capture more family pictures.

Take better care of myself. Get plenty of rest. Eat better. Exercise more. I have to take care of me first before I can take care of anyone else.

Find my clothing style.  I would love to wear yoga pants everywhere but I realize that's not socially acceptable.  Getting dressed should not be a struggle and I can stop buying clothes that aren't really me.  (I have already started this one and I have a massive Goodwill pile started.)

Find my house style. We still have the furniture I got from my cousin when I first graduated college. It works and it was free but we are ready for a change.

Keep an eye on the future, but my feet in the present.  As Matt will tell you, I have a habit of over analyzing and worrying about things that haven't happened yet or may never happen.  And that makes it hard to appreciate what's in front of me.  I think its important to plan for the future but I can find a way to balance planning for the future while still enjoying the present.

Let go of expectations.  (Click the link and read the article.  Its a game changer.)

Its not a complete list.  But its a start.  I also like that there is a lot of "me" resolutions.  I think women have a tendency to put our own needs last and as a result, our needs are usually rarely, if ever, met.  I am a very important person in my family and I have been told more than once, usually via "Come to Jesus" meeting, that I set the tone for the day and how everyone else's day is going to go.  If I don't take care of me, then I can't take care of my family.

A few weeks ago, I thought today was going to be a sad day.  Today was better than I expected and the best birthday I can remember.  We didn't do anything fancy or even out of the ordinary.  But Matt, Daulton, my family, and friends made an effort to make sure I had a great birthday.  The fact that so many people made an effort for me, is quite frankly, a very overwhelming feeling.  So overwhelming that I can only write about it as speaking the words would end in happy tears and its not pretty when I cry, so I am going to stick to writing.

My 20s were great, but I have a good feeling that my 30s are going to be even better.

 

Happy Birthday Matt!

You are the one who gets everyone out the door in the morning when we would rather stay in bed.

You know when to let us sleep just a few more minutes (or hours) when we need it.

You make our hurts better and make us laugh when we would rather cry.

You are our Chief Transportation Officer and ensure we get to where we are going in one piece and on time.

You keep us well fed and always smiling after our home cooked meals.

You taught us how good venison is when prepared correctly. 

You showed us how to play cornhole and how to love the game.

You are our editor-in-chief when it is time to do homework or write a new post for our blogs.

You know when I need wine and have a glass poured by the time I get home.

You are the Fashion Director and make sure everyone is looking presentable in public.

You give us the push we need to do better when we need it.

You are the carrier and lifter of all heavy stuff. 

You play football with Daulton every night, go to every game, and can remember every play of every game Daulton has played.

You are good at kicking the football to Daulton.  (added by Daulton)

Happy Birthday Matt!!  Daulton, Dixie and I love you very much!