Monday, June 6, 2011

My Irrational Fear Is In My House - Part 2

Read Part 1 if you are new to the story.  And if you are from the Indiana Department of Natural Resources, this story is fiction.  If you do not work for the Indiana Department of Natural Resources, keep reading.

The first night with the raccoon was rough because the dog went crazy barking and scratching at the garage door.  I was sound asleep, worn out from the trauma of having a live representation of my irrational fear in my garage.  My husband thought the dog was just being crazy, which she can be, and put her in the bedroom with us.

When Daulton and I woke up the next morning, Daulton wanted to go check on the raccoon.  I did not.  But he (Daulton, not the raccoon) is so cute in the morning and Matt was busy with other things so it was up to Daulton and I to check on the raccoon.

I put on Matt's work gloves and had my yellow duckie robe on for protection and slowly reached in to pull away the first towel.  It wasn't under the first towel.  I was ready to call it quits and leave it to the professional, a.k.a. Matt.  Instead Daulton tried to talk me into continuing to look for the raccoon.
Me:  Daulton, I'm scared.  I don't want to do this (look under the second towel).

Daulton:  Abby, don't be a sissy.  Just do it.

Me: Don't call me a sissy. I am really afraid and I don't want to do this.

Daulton: Don't act like a sissy and I won't call you a sissy. Now just do it.
I hate that he knows how to play me. 

I pulled the second towel out and still no raccoon.  At this point, I knew something was wrong.  The combination of Dixie acting crazy last night and the raccoon not being under the towels was sending my irrational fears into overdrive.  Daulton and I hauled ass inside to find Matt and report what we found, or technically, to report what we didn't find.

Matt took a quick look, laughed and said, "yep, its not in there".  At this point, I am ready to throw on the hazmat suits or never go in the garage again.  But I had to go to work and Daulton had to get to school, so Matt very calmly told us not to worry and he would find it later.

Well, later came and it was actually Dixie who found the raccoon.  Matt couldn't find it so he turned Dixie, the beagle, german shepherd mix, loose in the garage and she found it in about 5 seconds.  Apparently a bottle of kitten milk replacement will give a baby raccoon just enough nutrition to escape.  Its like steroids for baby raccoons without the roid rages and back acne.

Again, I get a call at work, this time telling me the baby raccoon has been secured and the dog is now on red alert because she has visual and smell confirmation that there is a woodland creature in the garage.

A side note on Dixie.  I've never been around hunting dogs but I would have to imagine that Dixie would fit right in, if she liked being around other dogs, which she doesn't.  Dixie once caught a chipmunk in our backyard and goes bat shit crazy whenever she sees a cat or coyote in the yard.  So having a raccoon in the garage almost sent her to the nut house.

It suddenly becomes crystal clear that this raccoon isn't going anywhere anytime soon and I'm not going near the raccoon, so basically I stopped going in the garage.

Raccoon: 1  Abby: 0

And why am I the only one who has the appropriate amount of concern and anxiety about the wild, possibly rabies infested, raccoon in the garage?



















Thank you for your kind words and raccoon stories!  I am comforted and terrified at the same time.  I appreciate the support and I no longer feel like my raccoon fears are irrational.  If you like the story, share it on Facebook and Twitter with your own irrational fear or raccoon story!

 

4 comments:

  1. Abby, this is SO funny! Your conversation with Daulton is hillarious and so cute:) You are a great Mom, and I would be the same way. I wouldn't want it out there, but boys will be boys! Keep us updated:)

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  2. My sister also had an irrational fear of raccoons that led to her having (an apparently very vivid) dream about being eaten by giant raccoons when we were younger, so I'm sure she would offer you her heartfelt sympathy.

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  3. I cannot stop laughing! But seriously, I would not be able to live in your house right now. I always imagine raccoons scratching me...especially my face. AHHHHHHHHHHH!

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